Updates

Thank you everyone who has been praying for my grandma who has cancer.

She had her kidney removed on Friday in Peoria and was doing quite well after her recovery.

Unfortunatly a very different picture was painted when I called my brother Kyle to ask if the flowers we had ordered had arrived yet.

When I got him on the phone he sounded very out of breath and at first thought, I figured he was out in a field with my dad in Peoria taking pictures and had been running around a bit in the cold. But then I realized he was crying...

I said..."Kyle, what's wrong" and after a very labored pause said "someone just died". "Someone just died?" I asked? "grandma?" and he said "yes".

After that all went blank. I remember wailing on the floor, the girls running down the steps to see what was wrong and instantly crying because they had never seen me so upset. I remember setting the phone down after hearing Kyle wailing on the other end. And I remember hanging up the phone.

And then as I was holding my three oldest girls the way a mother lion would hold them tight to her so that the world couldn't get to them, I prayed. I told God that it was ok. I told God that I didn't understand his plan but that he had a plan and I knew that. And then I couldn't stop saying "I'm so sorry" to the girls.

The thing is, Grandma has really recently been able to be a part of our lives again. In fact, she has been at my parents house more in the last two years than probably in all my years combined. She had been taking care of my grandpa since he got sick when I was a preteen and that devotion to him kept him alive, but also kept them a bit distant. So having her in our lives now has been such an amazing gift. Not only to my mom, dad, brothers and sisters but also to my girls.

I have written about her before. She is a different kind of grandma. An amazing one and when I couldn't stop saying "i'm so sorry" to my girls it was because I thought they had just lost someone that they had just started to spend a good amount of time with. Even the younger ones were starting to become really comfortable with nanna being around.

So, flash back to yesterday afternoon. After I held the girl for a few minutes, I called Sean and told(wailed) that he needed to come home and he was on his way.

No sooner had I hung up the phone that the phone was ringing. It was my brother kyle calling.

and he says "she's back, they got a pulse".

I didn't realize it but she hadn't been dead for awhile but had just coded when I called. The worst possible timing.

The news unfolded throughout the afternoon and Grandma is doing quite well now. They think that her respatory arrest was due to a medication issue and are expecting a full recovery.

I told the girls when I found out that she was going to make a full recovery "Now, don't you ever forget this day. If you ever in your life doubt that there is a God, remember this day"

My life changed yesterday. The "stuff" went foggy. The Christmas glitter, toys, money, cars, things...just went foggy. There was no "thing" that mattered.

I am resting in his promise, as I started when I first found out that she had cancer.

He has a plan and his plan is for good!

Thank you all for your continued prayers. I am sure that Grandma will want to be up and running soon, but please pray that she is able to do things in the proper timing and that she doesn't experience any more lapses.