Its slowly sinking in...
Last Sunday I had a crappy morning. I tried to put on my only pair of jeans "regular" jeans(I sold the rest b/c they were way too big), and they didn't fit very well. And I was SO ANGRY!
Call it hormones, the weather, or just mear frustration...but I was really mad. Depressed really. All I was thinking was "I can't believe that I worked SO HARD to lose 62 pounds prior to getting pregnant with Kendell and now I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes!" What I should have said was what I was really feeling...."I don't think I can lose the weight again", which is exactly what I was thinking.
For some reason I couldn't believe that I had the will power to go through the struggle that I had before to lose this weight again, but I feel different now.
I realized (again!) that I can't really be on a "diet", I just need a change. I need to know that I am making healthy choices for foods that I put in my body. For me that is an easy shift as long as I have lots of fresh fruits and vegetables in the house. I have never been a real big meat eater, so I don't find myself binging on meats.
So I have adopted a new attitude. It is kindof relaxed. I have decided that the weight will come off. It will because my body will go to the size it is supposed to be if I only eat the right amount of calories, and if I continue to excersize on a regular basis.
So what have I done...
I started out by working out. I have been doing this for the last few days. I have created a list of stregnth and flexability excersizes that I can do in my living room with either a band or ball. And I can do them anytime which is great. I can get in my cardio by walking/jogging around my block. That should give me the cardio that I need with the added stregnth list.
I also made a healthy foods list that I can go through whenever I am going to the grocery store. This will ensure that I know that I can make _______________ when I need to. I also have made up a few things in advance(i.e. tuna salad, and soon tomato salad).
A big thing for me is MAKING myself eat in the morning. Its a must for someone who has such a history of type 2 diabetes in the family and I do. I have given terrible excuses for not eating in the morning and it won't work anymore. Because I am only lying to myself.
The big picture for me is showing/teaching my kids how to live fit. That doesn't mean that I am running a marathon although I would be up for certain "walking" events, but it does mean that I will not stand on the sideline if they want me to join them in something. I want to be the type of mom who is able to throw the softball with them, or even learn how to play soccer b/c one of my kids enjoys it. Who knows...all I am saying is that...the depression is lifted and I can do this.
I was afraid my drive to suceed was lost...but I think its a comming back!
2 Comments:
Just remember that those jeans of yours might not be fitting because you had your beautiful little girl only 4 1/2 weeks ago!!! I think the plan you have in place will work well for you! Keep up the good work but try to take it easy and let your body heal!! You'll get there again!!
You have the whole summer ahead of you...you will be back down to where you were! Just don't get down on yourself.
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