Do you really trust that God is in control?
Lately it seems like this has been a challenge for me. And I am standing up telling you that I actually need people to remind me that "God is in control". It is kinda funny because I am usually the one who tells others that there is a reason for everything and that God is in control. But do I know that. Do I trust that when it is crunch time? I know that in God's word it says it over and over, but I need these words to resonate and become more real than they are. And then I think...It's not about what I need. Its all about him. Not me.
So I have obsessive thinking about two things during the day. 1. Be anxious about nothing, God is in control. 2. If i'm not going to worry about the situation how will anything get "fixed".
See the problem...The first phrase or way of thinking is calming and the second makes me worry and anxious. So I cycle during the day. And the really stupid thing is that I know the 2nd phrase is a false belief, but I can't seem to shake it.
So what does this mean for anyone who reads this who matters...please pray. I am not wandering around without a purpose, but I definatly am nervous about all that is going to change in our lives soon and Sean's health. I do worry that I might be the only person on this planet in which God doesn't have a plan for. But I also know that I have felt this way many times and it isn't true.
So where is it harder to live...in God's grace and control or in under my own control? Honestly...I don't have an answer. It is a hard shift.
posted by Erin @ 8:36 AM
3 Comments:
This is so brave of you to be vulnerable and honest. It sounds like you know what God wants you to do: trust Him unconditionally & NOT worry. I know His Word says that He even takes care of the sparrow & how much more will He take care of us, the children He loves & has chosen. Maybe you could post some non-worrying Scriptures around your house {or stencil one on your wall :>) }. I'm sure we have all felt at one time or another, that God just forgot about us & is leaving us hanging with no plan or direction. I remember Pastor Bob mentioning several times the sin of unbelief: not believing that God will keep His Word or do what He says He will. I never thought of worry in those terms. I will be praying for you in this area {& have been praying that God will see you through your difficult circumstances}. I am sure when you are at the end of this hard road, you will be able to look back & be thankful for the building of your character & faith and will have an even more amazing testimony because of it. Hang in there.
I was reading a devotional today that made me think of you. It was talking of plants and baby girls when you are first looking at them you have no idea what they are going to become but you know it will ultimatly be precious and beautiful!
In Psalm 139 it says "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
I will be praying that you trust Him even in the depth of winter, that He is crafting Spring in your life! ;0)
You're right, it's about Him. The book I've been reading quotes Daniel. Daniel 4:35 "all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, “What have you done?” It is all for his purpose and glory. I think a good thing to do is to sit down and look at your life, stuggles, concerns, etc. and try to see what he may be leading you towards learning to help you grow. Sean and you together doing this could be really good. Hope that helps.
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